Stop Making Excuses: How to Overcome Fear and Speak with Confidence

Moses said to the lord, “Since I speak with faltering lips, why would Pharaoh listen to me?” Exodus 6:30

Faltering means losing strength, momentum, or speaking hesitantly.

Moses spoke to God in a burning bush and was terrified but knew he was safe because he was on holy ground. But when it came time to tell Pharaoh God said to let his people go, he faltered; he lost his strength, momentum, and spoke hesitantly.

How does it make sense that you can talk with the holy of Holies but stutter in front of a mere man?

Maybe Moses was comfortable speaking to God in the burning bush because God spoke calmly; even though most would be frightened, His presence is soothing. Or Moses was just in so much shock that all he could do was not think and follow the commands of God from the bush.

It sounded like Moses had some overthinking issues. All three of my kids love their movies, much like I do. They really like the movie series “Cars”. In one of the movies, there is a quote where someone is seeking advice. The seasoned racer says something very profound. “Funny what a racer can do when he’s not overthinking things.”

I’m amazed that as much overthinking as I do, the Holy Spirit doesn’t just tell me to shut up! Focus! Trust me and do it!

Moses was a man of action. He didn’t use many words when approaching the taskmaster who was whipping and beating the Israelites. He just went up there and knew the beating needed to stop. Ultimately he killed the guy, but Moses did stop the beating. He had murdered someone, so out of fear he fled.

A man of action, yes, but Moses was afraid and had many excuses. He was comfortable doing comfortable things.

Exodus 6:12

But Moses said to the Lord, “If the Israelites will not listen to me, why would Pharaoh listen to me, since I speak with faltering lips”?

Moses is a man of action and did not use many words. More often than not, our actions are louder than our words. But God does need us to speak up at times to let those words be planted, sown, and to grow.

As a parent, manager, or viewed as a leader, we can become frustrated when we ask someone to do something. We ask them to do it because we see the capability but you get back excuse after excuse. Too many excuses can challenge even the most calmest of personalities. They continue making excuses because they are comfortable in their complacency. They don’t trust themselves in what they are capable of. But from our perspective, as leaders, we see what others are capable of. It is our job to build them up, boost their confidence, encourage through support to stretch into something new. God knows what we are capable of and his designed plan for us is always perfect. The lord says, you will do great things if you venture out of your comfort zone, and trust me.

Strong leaders, when they see the potential in someone, will challenge their associates so that they grow.  More challenging opportunities, a leader may let them attempt the challenge as a benchmark. Other leadership traits might work alongside them and give correction or guidance when they see pending mistakes; correcting the issue does not teach them, but explaining why the correction was necessary. I had a store manager sit me down once during a coaching session and tell me how he let someone fail. He was their safety net, but through his years of experience, he knew that if he told them the answer, it wouldn’t have the impact a small failure would. Now, he would not let that person fail if it would jeopardize them. No one's methods are perfect, but that was their style, which worked for them.

“Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭4‬:‭10‬-‭11‬, ‭13‬-‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/11/exo.4.10-17.NIV

Have you ever pushed your parent’s buttons to their limits? But we’ve all had that moment where we know, uh, oh, too far, they are mad; They used my full name. They spoke with a tone and expressions that means business.

Have you ever told God, I am not the person you want. I would say that’s a sign of greatly humility which is exactly what God is looking for. But! I can’t imagine making the Lord burn with anger to the point where He says, OK, your brother can speak for you!

It's incredible to see my kids, little in size, display such solid and prominent personalities and see them develop along the way. The proud part is when you see some of that independence come out, or they are super sweet and use manners. When my daughter had her injury accident in 2019, the whole house was in a kind of panic as to what we should do. At just over 3, my oldest ran to get Meme, his grandmother, and I heard him and her in the other room across the house. He said, “We could pray for her”. Those moments melt your heart and reassure you that we are teaching them correctly and that he is getting it, being raised in the lord's way. The scary part is seeing the negative traits that remind us of ourselves.

Much like Moses, I’m a man of action rather than words.

Coming up through school, I quickly discovered I was not fond of it. I was a C student, average at best, by the grading standardized system. I didn’t desire to do the lessons or focus. I took home-economics, cooking classes, and was in various instrumental band ensembles, sports that were electives. These classes were hands on rather than book led. I wanted to play sports, but unfortunately, I was unable to. Most sports cost money, so you prioritize alternative options when you have a budget that includes food, utilities, and housing as a priority.  You have to make sacrifices. Sports is hands-on, but since I couldn’t do that, I did other hands-on things, life skills. Education is essential, but it was not my forte in those traditional learning environments. It was many years of being uncomfortable, something that I never overcame.

1: I was not a fast reader. I do not read to learn.

2: I use my hands and like to reverse engineer. I want to know what makes it work. How does it work. Can I put it back together?

3: I will observe or run tasks and ideas through my head, practicing until I have mastered them. I have to be confident and comfortable with my internal practicing before I feel that I am ready.

4: “YouTube university” came online and everything changed. I have learned and picked up many skills that have developed into my “jack of all trades” tool box.

When it comes to being uncomfortable, we don’t like it; we do everything to avoid it, and let’s be honest, we hate it.

I asked a newly promoted assistant store manager once how he did it. He was confused by my question. I stated, yesterday you were a department manager, today, 24 hours later, you are in this position. But if I didn’t know any better, I would guess you had been ASM for longer than a day or two. He responded that he had to venture out of his department. He had to get uncomfortable to understand what the other departments do to help him prepare for being promoted out of his comfort zone. Because he took time to make himself uncomfortable, when the time came, his transition was less painful and less awkward.

God is not looking for a master at something; He is looking for someone with faults and imperfections who is teachable. We must be willing to let go of what we know and let God take control. We must understand that the process and progress to what God has called us to do is filled with challenges and mistakes. That is part of the refining process.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Pushing through our comfort zone has its challenges:

One example is bodybuilding. When I hear bodybuilding, there are only two people that I can think of; Arnold Swartzenager and Lou Ferrigno. Arnold was usually 1st, and Lou was typically 2nd. I’m not sure that he ever eclipsed Arnold. Those men knew what they needed to get the body mass and muscle tone they wanted; they had to get uncomfortable. They  used self-motivation and coaches driving them through the pain.

Push!

Push!

Push!

I know it hurts!

You have to push!

One more rep!

One more squat!

You usually have heavy weights involved in weight training and bodybuilding. When heavyweights are involved, spotters should be ready to help if your body fails and the weights drop. When you are doing reps, even if you only get halfway back up and the spotters have to assist, you still get that last rep in. Where you failed, is now your new benchmark. Beat it!

The spotters give you motivation or a little extra strength at the end. The Lord says to trust in him, and he will give us strength. He will also give us peace and understanding, which will grow our faith in him if we allow him to take control and let him drive us into and through the uncomfortable zone. Being uncomfortable is how we grow, and trust and know that it is only temporary. We stop because it’s uncomfortable; we stop because we are afraid. God is telling Push to take that one step to him, and he will run to you. We have to get uncomfortable.

In basic training, there is an obstacle course called the confidence course. They call it that and challenge you to do something you are scared of. They challenge us to do it because we wouldn’t normally do that. They challenge us to do it because we have never done it before. They force us to do it because we must overcome types of fears, height being a common one.

They call it the confidence course because after completion, you run off the field saying,  wow, that wasn’t so bad; hey, I want to do it again and see if I can do it better, faster, safer, different, etc. I’m glad they don’t call it the “confidence breaker” or “lack of confidence course”.

When we let God be God and make him the first and primary relationship in our lives, no matter what we go through, we will have the confidence to take on the challenge. We will have the power of Jesus Christ in our corner that we can lean on and trust in him to take us to, into, and out of whatever it is we are fearful and uncomfortable with, and we will come out stronger in him and more confident than before. He refines us in the fire. We have to let God be God. We have to get uncomfortable.

I saw something the other day that changed my perspective on Jesus walking on water.

“He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them,”

‭‭Mark‬ ‭6‬:‭48‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/mrk.6.48.NIV

He had sent them on their way and would meet them there. If they had just trusted that Jesus had sent them and was planning on meeting them at Bethlehem, imagine what Jesus would’ve said to them if they had stayed calm, kept their faith, and met him where He said to go. But instead, they were overcome with fear and thought Jesus walking on water was a ghost.

I struggle with my own confidence challenges.

I have no problem yelling and cheering for a team with athletes who do not know who I am. I’m just a fan yelling and hoping for a great play and a win. I can do this in the comfort of my own home, someone else’s home, my in-law's home, or even at a stadium. But when it comes to singing in front of somebody, praying or speaking in front of a group of people, I can shut down, get quiet, timid or say/do nothing. I have to get uncomfortable so I grow. It may also be my own way of protection myself from the harvest of poor sowing choices when I was a teenager making fun of my dad’s singing. Looking back, he had and still has the confidence to sing without a care to who hears him. Why? Because it doesn’t matter who hears him. He is singing for one purpose, to worship the Lord of Lords.

Another top fear aside from death is public speaking. Public speaking can make anyone feel weak in the knees or give you various gut reactions. To quote Thanos from Avengers: Infiniti War, “It’s turns the legs to jelly.”

The best thing to happen to build up your confidence occurs with Bluetooth technology. With Bluetooth, you can now put something in your ear(s) and you can talk on the phone, and no one will know the difference. You could be talking to yourself, but with Bluetooth in your ear, people will think you are on the phone—it's time to put our spiritual Bluetooth headphones in and start praying and talking to God. Who cares what people think.

How do you relate to Moses?

How is your confidence?

I can say with all honesty that I relate to Moses very well. Devyn and I, in our early year of Marriage, were reading a devotion, and it talked about how some people will be like Moses and make excuses for why they can’t do something or how they want to be masters at something beforehand. If that doesn’t sound like me, then I don’t know what does. I can’t speak of how I would have reacted if I had faced to face with the almighty and a burning bush. But if I could interact and question the lord almighty, then I feel like I would have had the confidence to speak directly to Pharoh, the king of Egypt, and be like listen here, dude, you don’t know what I just saw, and who I just spoke to, so let my the lords people go. I could have been a little arrogant with it. But that it is easy to write about when you are not in that scenario.

If you are relating to Moses, the faltering lips, or quivering words, full of excuses, take a moment. Stop. Pray. He [God] the [Holy Spirit] will give you the right words to say. Iron sharpens iron. Call your spouse, call your accountability partner and bounce your ideas off of them. See if they can help clear your thoughts or help you with the wording, much like Aaron did for Moses.

Throughout your week, don’t shy away from saying yes to something, saying hi to someone, saying God loves you, or saying God bless you to someone (even if they did not sneeze). What about telling someone, if you feel led to, that God has forgiven you? So many, myself included, walk around burrdened with thoughts, anxiety, regret. Stop carrying your baggage around. Even if your baggage is on wheels, it’s so much easier to just let ‘em’ go. But to have a random person walk up to you lead by the lord and say, God has forgiven you. That could make all the difference.

Get uncomfortable, and you’ll be amazed at the results.

You’ll be blessed by how God uses you to be a blessing.

-RWA