Overwhelmed? It’s gonna be ok!
I was so stupid in my teenage and early 20’s. They were not easy, because of stupid regrettable choices. My parents did a fantastic job showing and teaching everything we needed to know about choices, what the Bible says, etc. Yet as a stupid teen, I told my mom I would take the scenic route. I’m sure that did not sit well with her and as I know she did, she prayed that much harder. But I wanted to live my life and it was saturated in sin.
School did not entertain me nor spark my interest in much of anything; except music. I learned to play a few instruments and played in our church band. My High school, community college terms, dating choices, and joining the military drove wedges and separation between my family.
Joining the military was a milestone in my life and a catalyst for future things. In 2010 I deployed for my overseas missions and it was hard to say goodbye to my family. Even though we have God’s protection it was hard to say “everything is going to be ok”. I also nearly crushed my youngest sister’s ribs; she said they hurt for a while.
During a nightly mission, we came in close proximity that by 5 yards or .2 seconds my truck and team could have met Jesus instantly. I remember laughing in shock and praying that Jesus would tell my mom I was okay. I do not remember if I thanked Jesus for protecting us. Months passed and we continued our missions and finally made it home in the good ole US of A.
When I returned home, things slowed down a little. I returned to work and met a girl. She was and continues to be an answer to prayer. I got promoted 3 times from 2011 - 2018. I met and married my wife, had 2 kids (now 3), moved a handful of times, and unfortunately never processed my overseas experience. In an attempt to “protect” my wife, I was closed off and never really let her know much or anything about my rebellious choices before 2010. I didn’t think she needed to know.
My wife is an answer to years of prayer that God would bless me with someone who could handle my attitude, be supportive, and know how to comfort me. PTSD is no joke and the intense side effects that come along with it weigh heavily on everyone in the family, your friends circle, and your career. But the ultimate answer to prayer is returning to Christ and having a relationship rooted in Him.
The first 2 1/2 years of marriage were good but something was off. There was a shift from the honeymoon stage and the metaphorical wheels started shaking. I began to have panic attacks, major anxiety episodes that at their worst would send my heart racing, my blood pressure skyrocketing, and eventually a trip(s) to the hospital.
It was my body telling me I was overwhelmed.
I was overwhelmed by the weight of my sin.
I was overwhelmed by the wait and stress of my job.
I was overwhelmed by not processing my military experiences. I was overwhelmed by not being open with my wife.
I was overwhelmed with my lack of relationship with God.
I was overwhelmed with the thought of hearing “Depart from me, I never knew you” from Jesus.
I had to make a choice, a new choice. I had to choose to let go and let God. I had to let go of what I knew, trust God to have control, and lay it all down at the foot of the cross. I had a counselor who was faith-based help through several sessions through the medical standards for those with stress, anxiety, and PTSD.
Now you don’t have to be a veteran to have PTSD. Many things can cause it. For me and my house, we are going to serve the Lord. For me and my PTSD, I have to lay my burdens down at the foot of the cross. For me and my situation I had to be open with myself, my wife, my extended and immediate family, I had to be open. I also needed to be open and let God be God.
Am I still overwhelmed? Yes. However, how I handle those burdens increases my capacity to handle those stressors. By God’s grace, I can bring my burdens to the cross. The best part about my plate being full or having a bigger one to fill is that all things are possible through God. God will never give us more than we can handle. Sometimes it may seem that He has put too much on our plate, But for us to grow, we must be challenged.
If you ask for patience, He will challenge you in things you are not patient. Increasing your patience takes patience, oh the irony. A weight lifter must lift more weight to max out and increase strength and endurance. A runner will sometimes run longer distances when training for a shorter distance. They sometimes will also sprint towards the end to increase their heart rate, which also helps.
Music has always helped me. Here are some songs that may help.
The song that I listened to so many times is “You Can Have It All” by Bryan Johnson.
He ended up writing a book that resonated so profoundly with me that I listened to the book twice and I cried both times. “When God becomes real.
Another song I listened to was one that my wife found and it was his wife, Jen Johnson.
https://youtu.be/3WPbs7N-E0Q?si=LgL7OqUmZZHET2FA
https://youtu.be/LjF9IqvXDjY?si=M_d-fNOpve5vf6m6
https://youtu.be/OpfuKKH_SCE?si=esGnjo8N1TDhW7cH
HILLSONG UNITED
“Lead me to the cross”
https://youtu.be/8HznXBBCdBE?si=78kmB91tN3O2vbcC
I pray that if you are burdened with life, you take a moment to ask Jesus for help. One of the greatest things about praying is, that He already knows your heart. We just need to take a step and he will come running to you. We just need to make an effort and realize He was there the whole time.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
Psalms 55:22 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/psa.55.22.NIV
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/1pe.5.7.NIV
“He must become greater; I must become less.””
John 3:30 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.3.30.NIV
-Rick
